A year ago today was the worst day of my life. It was Holy Thursday, 2007. I was looking forward to a relaxing Easter vacation from work. Then the phone rang, around 7 p.m. My Mom said my Dad was really acting strange, confused and not answering her. I got there within 5 minutes, and Mom had already called 911. He had a vacant look, and wasn't answering us. The EMT's got there, and his O2 sat was low. He couldn't stand up. They put him in the ambulance and headed for the hospital. I called my brother, who said he'd meet us there. Mom and I stopped at my house to leave a note for Ralph and went to the ER.
My brother Mike got there right after we did. The doc came out and said that Dad's O2 sat was so bad that they'd intubated. Then he said that Dad gasped, turned gray and stopped breathing, and that CPR was being done. His theories were a big PE, a Triple A, or a dissecting aorta. We had to make a decision as to what should be done.
Dad had been quite clear in his conversations with us, and in his living will. No heroics- if it was his time, so be it. So I said right away that they should stop the CPR. Mom and Mike were agonized, but agreed. CPR was stopped, and Dad's heart stopped, and he died, less than an hour after arriving in the ER. We didn't want an autopsy.
We got to go in and see him, and kiss him goodbye. The absolute worst thing was seeing my big strong brother Mike so upset. Talk about feeling powerless! As the eternal big sister, I wanted to make everything all right for him, and couldn't.
As we left the ER, shellshocked, the staff gave us sympathetic smiles. I called my sister in law Donna to give her a heads up so she would be prepared when Mike got home.
Mom and I went back to her house, and I called Ralph, who had just gotten home from work, and he came right up. Then I had to call my brother John in Florida, and my daughters. All were shocked and devastated.
I'm glad my Dad had made his wishes known, and we could carry them out. Dad would have hated living life anything less than on his terms. And ultimately, he the death we all want- he was fine, and then he was dead. We didn't have to watch him die by inches, and he died with dignity.
Rest in Peace, Joe.
Holly
1 comment:
When I faced that final decision with both of my parents, the fact that they had been very verbal about their wishes made things simpler. It is not easy, tho. Dying with dignity is a gift we give them.
Many hugs,
Phyl
Post a Comment