Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Rainy Wednesday

It's been raining off and on since yesterday. This is a good thing, because we sure need it. It hasn't helped the humidity, though.

I'm a believer of things happening for a reason. As my Mom says, you may not like the reason, but it's there. My grandmother Yardley died several years ago. She wasn't in the best of health, so no one was surprised, but she wasn't ancient- she was about 80. Months later, my Uncle John died at the age of 49. He was the youngest of the siblings, and he died in a stupid, preventable home accident. At his funeral, his siblings said that was why MomMom died, because Uncle John's death would have killed her.

Julianna was born 4 weeks early, and was really tiny. My parents got to see her several times, before my Dad died heartbreakingly suddenly when she was 5 weeks old. If she had been born nearer to her due date, Dad may not have got to see her, or to see her only once. So Julianna was born early so that Dad could spend time with her.

I was really sick earlier this year. I had a procedure on March 23 that was supposed to be wonderful. It wasn't. Three ER visits and 4 units of blood later, it was determined that I needed a hysterectomy, which required 3 more units of blood. Three days postop I had an episode of atrial fibrulation. 7 days postop I had a wound infection, and was back in the hospital for 5 days of IV antibiotics. Then home with a wound vaccuum, visiting nurses, and antibiotics that made me vomit every day. Two more visits, via ambulance, to the ER in afib. The third episode put me in the hospital my cardiologist works from, and the issue got addressed with a med to keep me in rhythm.

I feel like I lost the six weeks of my life between the procedure and the surgery. Sick people don't make good decisions, and I wasn't doing what my nurse friends were urging me to do- either push for the surgery, or get a second opinion. I'm angry about what I see as the lost six weeks, but it's over and done with. I don't think my physician is incompatent, but I think she, and gyn's in general, are not aggressive enough with some issues. (Kinda basing that on what the ER docs and nurses said, as well as things I've read.) An online friend referred my to a wonderful website called HysterSisters. I've read of a lot of women's experiences there.

So, there is a reason for all I went through, and it will eventually become evident. One byproduct of the whole experience has been that Ralph and I have become closer. He took 3 weeks of family leave during the saga, because I needed him to be with me.

I have a new respect for women having c-sections. I told my daughters that if they ever need a c-section I will be on a plane immediately, and stay with them as long as they want. I can't imagine the surgery I had, and ending up with a baby to care for, too! So maybe that's part of why I had to go thru the experience.

I think going thru the experience will make me a more compassionate nurse. I'm not sure when I'd put the particular experience to use, since I work in a school with adolescents.

Bottom line is that since I believe everything happens for a reason, the reason will eventually become evident.


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