Friday, November 11, 2011

In the middle of the night

Even the cat is asleep. She looked at me like I was nuts when I came into the family room a few minutes ago. Sleep issues and middle age seem to go together.

It's 12 days since Sam passed. Lou is having a hard time- he's grieving, and lonely, and frustrated. With his vision and hearing issues added to the weakness from his strokes, he is so limited in what he can do independently. His hospice nurse is on vacation til Monday, and his social worker got the bright idea that he needed to go to their respite care- in Trenton! 9 PM Wednesday she's at the house making this strong suggestion, which I flatly refused. So then she decided he couldn't be alone and had an aide come out for the night, which was OK but she annoyed him all night.

We had an appointment to take him Thursday morning to see the assisted living that Ralph's mom lives at. It's close to us, maybe 6 miles away. He was very impressed, and was talking to a couple of the men who live there. We had lunch there, and as long as his hospice nurse approves of the place, says he'll go. He's so lonely, and there is plenty of stimulation there, and he'll be safe.

Lou is a Marine, served in WWII and Korea. He says he is on duty, guarding the house until we get all of Linda's things (which includes her mom and aunt's things) out, then he can leave. So we're going to do a big packing this weekend. He doesn't care if it takes months- I want him settled in as soon as possible. I swore to Sam that I would make sure he is taken care of.

Who ever thought that an 86 year old husband would outlive his 59 year old wife?

And that's why I'm up in the middle of the night.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nightime seems the hardest, I know. There's a quote from Reynolds Price in Kate Vaiden that spoke to me - "True bravery is getting up in the morning, facing what is thrown at you, and keeping your hair combed." Take care,