Thursday, December 15, 2011
Rest in Peace, Miss Millie
We lost our Miss Millie today.
She was about 19. She just showed up on our deck one day, and wouldn't leave, so we invited her in, and she never left.
As an aside, blogger is acting weird today. When I upload the pictures, all I see is computer language, not the picture. It's new, and disturbing.
Anyway, Manda named her Milly, but I always spelled it Millie. Millie and Frenzy, our sweet faced but evil gray cat, never got along. They couldn't even use the same litter pan or eat in the same location.
Millie decided years ago that she was Ralph's cat. She slept on him, and curled up with him whenever any part of him was horizontal.
She did enjoy helping me sew. She was great at keeping the fabric still.
If she was helping me, I wasn't supposed to try to move the fabric- that got me a swat.
She's been slowing down a lot this past year, and losing weight. A visit to the vet didn't do anything but upset her. This week she pretty much stopped eating, and didn't move around much. She did not seem to be in any pain, and we didn't want her last experience to be traumatic for all involved, so we just keep a close eye on her. She laid down in the closet last night, and passed away peacefully in her sleep.
Like with my friend Sam, knowing the end is near doesn't make it any easier to bear. My heart breaks for Ralph. I'm grateful that she, like Sam, passed peacefully in her sleep.
I wrote on Facebook that no one else better die this year, or even get sick, or I'm going to be really mad at them. I'm so tired of grieving, tired of crying, tired of being sad. I'm just tired.
Holly
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Good grief, another weekend!
So much for posting more often!
Heather and Ed had a couple of friends over yesterday, and at the last minute invited us and his parents and Mike and Donna. They had a sandwich tray, and the usual munchies. I always enjoy spending time with Ed and Jeanne and Mike and Donna. We old folk all left together about 8.30, and the young ones probably went on for hours.
Steph and Dan had a ski weekend in Stowe, and will be home late tonight, so Toast and Whiskey have been visiting us.They are well behaved, but they do have to be taken out, and it's cold out!
It's six weeks today that Sam passed, and two weeks that Lou has been in the assisted living. He's looking so much better, and is putting on weight. Ralph had him to the eye doctor on Friday, and they think glasses will help, so they're ordered. And he's asked for physical and occupation therapy, and a walker with a seat! Sam always discouraged him from doing anything for himself, and I'm so happy he's taking the initiatve. I talked to the nurse on duty, and they'll get the order tomorrow for the PT/OT. I just want him to be happy for however much time he has left.
Miss Millie is getting even skinner and more frail. She wants whatever we're eating, and is glued to Ralph.
We're looking forward to Manda and Ben coming home for Christmas! My shopping is coming along slowly. Most of it is from amazon- love amazon!
And another week starts tomorrow!
Holly
Heather and Ed had a couple of friends over yesterday, and at the last minute invited us and his parents and Mike and Donna. They had a sandwich tray, and the usual munchies. I always enjoy spending time with Ed and Jeanne and Mike and Donna. We old folk all left together about 8.30, and the young ones probably went on for hours.
Steph and Dan had a ski weekend in Stowe, and will be home late tonight, so Toast and Whiskey have been visiting us.They are well behaved, but they do have to be taken out, and it's cold out!
It's six weeks today that Sam passed, and two weeks that Lou has been in the assisted living. He's looking so much better, and is putting on weight. Ralph had him to the eye doctor on Friday, and they think glasses will help, so they're ordered. And he's asked for physical and occupation therapy, and a walker with a seat! Sam always discouraged him from doing anything for himself, and I'm so happy he's taking the initiatve. I talked to the nurse on duty, and they'll get the order tomorrow for the PT/OT. I just want him to be happy for however much time he has left.
Miss Millie is getting even skinner and more frail. She wants whatever we're eating, and is glued to Ralph.
We're looking forward to Manda and Ben coming home for Christmas! My shopping is coming along slowly. Most of it is from amazon- love amazon!
And another week starts tomorrow!
Holly
Saturday, December 3, 2011
It's December time
Every day I think I should do a blog post, then I go to do something else and forget. November was very busy and somewhat stressful. Every weekend we worked at Lou's house, cleaning and sorting. I stopped to see him on the way home from work every day for 20 minutes or so.
Last Friday we moved him into the assisted living. I was so afraid the weather would get bad and none of us would be able to get to him, and I swore to Sam that I'd make sure he's taken care of. He went back and forth between "Get me there now" to "I don't want to go." His wonderful aide packed up his clothing and toiletries, and I called his hospice for help. When we went to pick him up, he was all dressed and ready to go, which was a relief. I took him and his clothes, and Ralph took his old recliner and side table with lamp. When we arrived, the director whisked him off to have lunch, while we unpacked for him.
When I saw him yesterday, he seems to be settling in. He told me how his waiter tells him the specials, since he can't read the menu. His food arrives cut up. He told me every meal he's eaten! He's interested in going on the bus trips the asst living runs to local stores, even if he just stays on the bus. His aide does his laundry, showers him, and takes him outside. He's lonely, but it's only been 5 weeks since Sam passed.
Thanksgiving was wonderful. We ate at Mike and Donna's as usual. I made sweet potatoes, broccoli, little hot dogs in crescent rolls, cranberry crescent appetizers, and of course Joseph's Trifle. Heather, Ed and the kids were there for most of the day, then left to go to Ed's parents for dessert. Steph and Dan started out at his parents, and joined us for dessert. The food and the company were great. Jake gave me printouts of the items he'd like for Xmas. He tried to teach me how to play Angry Birds on my new Kindle Fire. Mom Florence enjoyed a few glasses of wine. We took the Mom's home around 6, and we were yawning by 9.
Ben's team at work has adopted a family for Christmas. The two year old girl of the family wants a blanket, so Manda called to see if I had an extra small afghans. I have some pretty pink and white yarn, so I immediately started a small afghan.
Heather and Ed put up their tree last week. I asked Julianna about it, and she told me it would be prettier if it was pink and purple. She said Mommy decorated it in "brown and red." I asked Heather, who clarified that the tree is gold and red. Julianna would like the world to be pink and purple!
Eddie informed Heather that he needs a laptop because he is almost a teenager. As it happened, we had my older laptop around, saved from when I got my new one. Ralph restored it to factory settings and we took it down to him. Heather said that day Eddie kept asking her when his laptop was coming. It's so wonderful to have them living back in south jersey, where we can see them so much more often.
I didn't read much in November, only 7 books, which brings the year's total to 129 so far. Of the 7, 2 were read on the Nook and the rest from the library. I was working on another scrappy afghan, then switched to work on the pink and white one.
We have December birthdays! Ed's is on the 8th, nephew David is the 19th, Heather is the 29th, and Kamee and Megan are right before Christmas. Ben and Manda arrive a couple of days before Christmas! They did Thanksgiving/Xmas in Nebraska, and we get them for Christmas. We only have one nurse schedule to work around now, since Ralph is retired. Heather is working Christmas Eve night. She'll go home, see what Santa brought, sleep, and go visit Ed's family. On the 26th we'll do gifts and dinner at her house. She and Steph have decided to rotate houses for the Christmas dinner.
Not doing Christmas on Christmas was hard the first time. But the alternative was to not have at least one nurse present. Once we slid the day a few times, it's gotten to be second nature for us. It works out great for Mom Florence, since she gets to do the holiday twice, once with Frank and Charlotte's family and once with us.
We'll see Mike and Donna at Mom Mary Jane's Christmas morning. Mike and Donna pick up bagels on their way up, and we have breakfast together.
Miss Millie is really showing her age- she's at least 18. She doesn't have many teeth, sleeps all the time, and forgets that she's just eaten and tortures Ralph to feed her. She can't jump- she has a little staircase up to the table her food dish is on, and she uses her claws to get up on the bed. She's velcro'd to Ralph. She isn't in any pain, and she's eating and using the litter pan, so we just watch her.
And the beat goes on!
Holly
Last Friday we moved him into the assisted living. I was so afraid the weather would get bad and none of us would be able to get to him, and I swore to Sam that I'd make sure he's taken care of. He went back and forth between "Get me there now" to "I don't want to go." His wonderful aide packed up his clothing and toiletries, and I called his hospice for help. When we went to pick him up, he was all dressed and ready to go, which was a relief. I took him and his clothes, and Ralph took his old recliner and side table with lamp. When we arrived, the director whisked him off to have lunch, while we unpacked for him.
When I saw him yesterday, he seems to be settling in. He told me how his waiter tells him the specials, since he can't read the menu. His food arrives cut up. He told me every meal he's eaten! He's interested in going on the bus trips the asst living runs to local stores, even if he just stays on the bus. His aide does his laundry, showers him, and takes him outside. He's lonely, but it's only been 5 weeks since Sam passed.
Thanksgiving was wonderful. We ate at Mike and Donna's as usual. I made sweet potatoes, broccoli, little hot dogs in crescent rolls, cranberry crescent appetizers, and of course Joseph's Trifle. Heather, Ed and the kids were there for most of the day, then left to go to Ed's parents for dessert. Steph and Dan started out at his parents, and joined us for dessert. The food and the company were great. Jake gave me printouts of the items he'd like for Xmas. He tried to teach me how to play Angry Birds on my new Kindle Fire. Mom Florence enjoyed a few glasses of wine. We took the Mom's home around 6, and we were yawning by 9.
Ben's team at work has adopted a family for Christmas. The two year old girl of the family wants a blanket, so Manda called to see if I had an extra small afghans. I have some pretty pink and white yarn, so I immediately started a small afghan.
Heather and Ed put up their tree last week. I asked Julianna about it, and she told me it would be prettier if it was pink and purple. She said Mommy decorated it in "brown and red." I asked Heather, who clarified that the tree is gold and red. Julianna would like the world to be pink and purple!
Eddie informed Heather that he needs a laptop because he is almost a teenager. As it happened, we had my older laptop around, saved from when I got my new one. Ralph restored it to factory settings and we took it down to him. Heather said that day Eddie kept asking her when his laptop was coming. It's so wonderful to have them living back in south jersey, where we can see them so much more often.
I didn't read much in November, only 7 books, which brings the year's total to 129 so far. Of the 7, 2 were read on the Nook and the rest from the library. I was working on another scrappy afghan, then switched to work on the pink and white one.
We have December birthdays! Ed's is on the 8th, nephew David is the 19th, Heather is the 29th, and Kamee and Megan are right before Christmas. Ben and Manda arrive a couple of days before Christmas! They did Thanksgiving/Xmas in Nebraska, and we get them for Christmas. We only have one nurse schedule to work around now, since Ralph is retired. Heather is working Christmas Eve night. She'll go home, see what Santa brought, sleep, and go visit Ed's family. On the 26th we'll do gifts and dinner at her house. She and Steph have decided to rotate houses for the Christmas dinner.
Not doing Christmas on Christmas was hard the first time. But the alternative was to not have at least one nurse present. Once we slid the day a few times, it's gotten to be second nature for us. It works out great for Mom Florence, since she gets to do the holiday twice, once with Frank and Charlotte's family and once with us.
We'll see Mike and Donna at Mom Mary Jane's Christmas morning. Mike and Donna pick up bagels on their way up, and we have breakfast together.
Miss Millie is really showing her age- she's at least 18. She doesn't have many teeth, sleeps all the time, and forgets that she's just eaten and tortures Ralph to feed her. She can't jump- she has a little staircase up to the table her food dish is on, and she uses her claws to get up on the bed. She's velcro'd to Ralph. She isn't in any pain, and she's eating and using the litter pan, so we just watch her.
And the beat goes on!
Holly
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Twenty yards of trash
I ordered a ten yard dumpster, but they didn't have one available, so they sent me a twenty yard one. Good thing! Sherry had her nephew and a friend of his out yesterday to Lou's, and they filled half the dumpster and cleaned about half the basement. The basement is 800 square feet, and it was filled with boxes 3 deep of old paints, pieces of wood, wooden cut outs, ceramic greenware pieces, and just plain trash. A lady starting a ceramic store had already picked up the usable greenware and bisque after it was listed on craigslist.
Today it was back to the basement. We had Sherry's guys again (17 year olds saving for cars), Steph, Dan, Ralph, and 3 other guys that are relatives or friends of Steph and Dan. They all wore masks and gloves, and went up and down the steps about a zillion times. We split the crew, and some worked on the basement with Sherry supervising, and Ralph went in the attic and handed down boxes to others. I was the sorter, making executive decisions as to what can be sold for money. Not much. Most it it was out and out trash- bags of old clothes, yarn empty appliance boxes, broken small appliances. There were 5 Xmas trees! Mom wants one to put outside a window for birds to roost in. The others were put outside, and a man passing by stopped and took them.
Another man who scavenges metal took the junk metal. People in a huge truck came and took the wood scraps for kindling. The attic and basement and sunroom were a lot of trash and a very few treasures. It was incredibly sad, going thru and wondering why on earth items were saved.
Lou didn't handle it well. He wanted everything gone before he'll leave to go to assisted living, so we're not wasting any time. I want him safe and settled before the bad weather starts. He did some yelling and some cursing, and retreated to his bedroom. A hospice nurse came by, and she was talking to him.
I just keep telling him that I swore to Sam that I'd make sure he was well cared for. His hospice nurse told me that nothing I do will make him happy, so just do what I have to do. My friend Barbara gave me good perspective. She said that he knows that no matter how much he yells at me, I'll come back, so I'm his soft place to fall. I can live with that.
I fell the other night. I missed a step, tried to move fast to catch my balance, and it a brick wall with my right hand- the same hand I hit when I fell in Kennedy Hospital last spring. For a day or so I thought I'd fractured it, but of course nurses are the worst patients and I wouldn't go get it looked at. It feels better each day.
And that's the week so far. A little crocheting, some reading of quilting boards, but not a bit of sewing.
Holly
Today it was back to the basement. We had Sherry's guys again (17 year olds saving for cars), Steph, Dan, Ralph, and 3 other guys that are relatives or friends of Steph and Dan. They all wore masks and gloves, and went up and down the steps about a zillion times. We split the crew, and some worked on the basement with Sherry supervising, and Ralph went in the attic and handed down boxes to others. I was the sorter, making executive decisions as to what can be sold for money. Not much. Most it it was out and out trash- bags of old clothes, yarn empty appliance boxes, broken small appliances. There were 5 Xmas trees! Mom wants one to put outside a window for birds to roost in. The others were put outside, and a man passing by stopped and took them.
Another man who scavenges metal took the junk metal. People in a huge truck came and took the wood scraps for kindling. The attic and basement and sunroom were a lot of trash and a very few treasures. It was incredibly sad, going thru and wondering why on earth items were saved.
Lou didn't handle it well. He wanted everything gone before he'll leave to go to assisted living, so we're not wasting any time. I want him safe and settled before the bad weather starts. He did some yelling and some cursing, and retreated to his bedroom. A hospice nurse came by, and she was talking to him.
I just keep telling him that I swore to Sam that I'd make sure he was well cared for. His hospice nurse told me that nothing I do will make him happy, so just do what I have to do. My friend Barbara gave me good perspective. She said that he knows that no matter how much he yells at me, I'll come back, so I'm his soft place to fall. I can live with that.
I fell the other night. I missed a step, tried to move fast to catch my balance, and it a brick wall with my right hand- the same hand I hit when I fell in Kennedy Hospital last spring. For a day or so I thought I'd fractured it, but of course nurses are the worst patients and I wouldn't go get it looked at. It feels better each day.
And that's the week so far. A little crocheting, some reading of quilting boards, but not a bit of sewing.
Holly
Sunday, November 13, 2011
I'm buried in papers!
It's 2 weeks today that Sam passed.
Yesterday Ralph and I, and Steph and Dan got to the house around 10. Hospice sent out a nurse for 4 hours, heaven knows why, but it worked out because she entertained Lou and cut bubble wrap for us.
Lou is adamant (at the top of his lungs, several times a day) that he can't leave til the last thing that was Linda's is out of the house. Except the furniture, because he thinks Steph wants it all.
So we came armed with boxes and bubble wrap and trash bags. We started packing and sorting, and we had so much for Sherry's charity that we called her and asked her to come over. She and Tony came over and helped for a couple of hours, and left with a carload.
Today Steph and Dan and I went down for a couple of hours. I took Lou coffee, as I always do. Steph and Dan were packing in the office room, and I was sorting in the living room, and talking to Lou.
I've brought home boxes and boxes and bags of papers, and sorted them. Deeds are mixed up with receipts from the grocery store. The bag I just sorted was old checkbooks of Sam's parents, and lots of papers of her Aunt Carrie's. Most to burn, so to just trash.
The moral of the story is, don't save every piece of paper you've ever gotten in the mail!
Tomorrow I hope to meet with Lou's hospice nurse on the way home from work, and get some input from her.
Tonight I think I'm going to veg out in front of the TV and crochet for a bit.
Back to work tomorrow.
Holly
Yesterday Ralph and I, and Steph and Dan got to the house around 10. Hospice sent out a nurse for 4 hours, heaven knows why, but it worked out because she entertained Lou and cut bubble wrap for us.
Lou is adamant (at the top of his lungs, several times a day) that he can't leave til the last thing that was Linda's is out of the house. Except the furniture, because he thinks Steph wants it all.
So we came armed with boxes and bubble wrap and trash bags. We started packing and sorting, and we had so much for Sherry's charity that we called her and asked her to come over. She and Tony came over and helped for a couple of hours, and left with a carload.
Today Steph and Dan and I went down for a couple of hours. I took Lou coffee, as I always do. Steph and Dan were packing in the office room, and I was sorting in the living room, and talking to Lou.
I've brought home boxes and boxes and bags of papers, and sorted them. Deeds are mixed up with receipts from the grocery store. The bag I just sorted was old checkbooks of Sam's parents, and lots of papers of her Aunt Carrie's. Most to burn, so to just trash.
The moral of the story is, don't save every piece of paper you've ever gotten in the mail!
Tomorrow I hope to meet with Lou's hospice nurse on the way home from work, and get some input from her.
Tonight I think I'm going to veg out in front of the TV and crochet for a bit.
Back to work tomorrow.
Holly
Friday, November 11, 2011
In the middle of the night
Even the cat is asleep. She looked at me like I was nuts when I came into the family room a few minutes ago. Sleep issues and middle age seem to go together.
It's 12 days since Sam passed. Lou is having a hard time- he's grieving, and lonely, and frustrated. With his vision and hearing issues added to the weakness from his strokes, he is so limited in what he can do independently. His hospice nurse is on vacation til Monday, and his social worker got the bright idea that he needed to go to their respite care- in Trenton! 9 PM Wednesday she's at the house making this strong suggestion, which I flatly refused. So then she decided he couldn't be alone and had an aide come out for the night, which was OK but she annoyed him all night.
We had an appointment to take him Thursday morning to see the assisted living that Ralph's mom lives at. It's close to us, maybe 6 miles away. He was very impressed, and was talking to a couple of the men who live there. We had lunch there, and as long as his hospice nurse approves of the place, says he'll go. He's so lonely, and there is plenty of stimulation there, and he'll be safe.
Lou is a Marine, served in WWII and Korea. He says he is on duty, guarding the house until we get all of Linda's things (which includes her mom and aunt's things) out, then he can leave. So we're going to do a big packing this weekend. He doesn't care if it takes months- I want him settled in as soon as possible. I swore to Sam that I would make sure he is taken care of.
Who ever thought that an 86 year old husband would outlive his 59 year old wife?
And that's why I'm up in the middle of the night.
Holly
It's 12 days since Sam passed. Lou is having a hard time- he's grieving, and lonely, and frustrated. With his vision and hearing issues added to the weakness from his strokes, he is so limited in what he can do independently. His hospice nurse is on vacation til Monday, and his social worker got the bright idea that he needed to go to their respite care- in Trenton! 9 PM Wednesday she's at the house making this strong suggestion, which I flatly refused. So then she decided he couldn't be alone and had an aide come out for the night, which was OK but she annoyed him all night.
We had an appointment to take him Thursday morning to see the assisted living that Ralph's mom lives at. It's close to us, maybe 6 miles away. He was very impressed, and was talking to a couple of the men who live there. We had lunch there, and as long as his hospice nurse approves of the place, says he'll go. He's so lonely, and there is plenty of stimulation there, and he'll be safe.
Lou is a Marine, served in WWII and Korea. He says he is on duty, guarding the house until we get all of Linda's things (which includes her mom and aunt's things) out, then he can leave. So we're going to do a big packing this weekend. He doesn't care if it takes months- I want him settled in as soon as possible. I swore to Sam that I would make sure he is taken care of.
Who ever thought that an 86 year old husband would outlive his 59 year old wife?
And that's why I'm up in the middle of the night.
Holly
Sunday, November 6, 2011
It's November
It's November! The time changed last night, so it gets dark really early as the year winds down.
I was at Lou's for a couple of hours raking out the office room. 4 more bags of trash out of there. Then Ralph and I met Steph and Dan at the Olive Garden for dinner, and now I'm ready to call it a night.
In November we have birthdays! Kevin, Franny, Morgan, Donna and Joseph. It's also a great month to work in a school We're off Tuesday for Election Day, Thursday and Friday is teacher's convention, the day before Thanksgiving is a half day, and off Thanksgiving and the day after.
I read 18 books in October. 16 from the library, and 2 of my own. I just finished the next to last Bay Tanner mystery by Kathryn Wall. The library doesn't have the most recent one yet. I'm almost done another full sized afghan, this one with 2 strands of yarn worked together.
Good night all!
Holly
I was at Lou's for a couple of hours raking out the office room. 4 more bags of trash out of there. Then Ralph and I met Steph and Dan at the Olive Garden for dinner, and now I'm ready to call it a night.
In November we have birthdays! Kevin, Franny, Morgan, Donna and Joseph. It's also a great month to work in a school We're off Tuesday for Election Day, Thursday and Friday is teacher's convention, the day before Thanksgiving is a half day, and off Thanksgiving and the day after.
I read 18 books in October. 16 from the library, and 2 of my own. I just finished the next to last Bay Tanner mystery by Kathryn Wall. The library doesn't have the most recent one yet. I'm almost done another full sized afghan, this one with 2 strands of yarn worked together.
Good night all!
Holly
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)